Falling Apart
by WordsAreTheWeaponsofTheMind
Summary: Peter feels guilty about what happened to Flash and Harry in the events of 'Anti-Venom.' Luke comforts him the best he can. Luke/Peter. One sided Peter/Harry.


Harry's hair waves in the water. He's behind glass like at an exhibit in an aquarium, and Peter just stands there, watching him bob. Not far away, Flash is in his own tank, eyes closed, face restful. His vitals are falling.

 _Harry, freshman year of high school, running through a pile of leaves, mud on his loafers, laughing. Peter sees him. Harry is looking the other way._

Amadeus is examining a small fraction of the anti-venom, again and again and again. Everyone is, and they're all tired. Amadeus knows Peter's question already.

'Nothing new,' he says. Amadeus hates admitting he doesn't know. He has an unwrapped protein bar next to him, hasn't eaten all morning.

'You should take a break,' Peter says, 'I'll take over.' Amadeus is just a baby. Like Miles, who has finally passed out after spending the whole night awake. Thirteen. Peter was in love at thirteen.

 _Harry's eating lunch in the cafe. He's got his friends. He has his arm around a girl named Christine. He's all of fourteen years and says he's going to hell over the school radio, just to scare the teachers._

'Fine, but I'll only be gone fifteen minutes,' Amadeus says. He takes his protein bar and leaves.

Peter feels numb. The first few days, he felt terrible, cursing himself over and over. Now he just goes through the day doing what he did the last day. All days are the same. He doesn't know if it's Friday or Tuesday. He has his phone off, so his aunt's calls haven't come through. He sleeps (barely), he eats (scarcely), and he works on saving his friends.

 _The first time Harry speaks to Peter it's a simple question, 'So, your birthday is in October, right?' Peter's so startled, he drops his juice and it spills all over his clean white shirt. Flash screeches with laughter._

The Scarlet Spider walks by. He's the only one of the team undisturbed by Flash and Harry's condition. Though Peter tries his best to remain polite, to be a good leader, it's come to the point where he just wants to punch the nonchalance out of the Scarlet's walk. _It's not his fault. He's had a rough life,_ Peter keeps telling himself, but at some point, he's going to boil over, at some point he's going to say something regrettable.

 _The hall is narrow and almost empty. Peter can't go through without Flash seeing him, so he stays still, waiting for Flash to go on, turn the bend to the next corridor. Then Harry comes, carrying a science fair poster, and kicking a coke bottle. Suddenly, Peter can move again. Flash never bullies Peter when Harry's around. Peter doesn't know why, but he expects it's because Harry's perfect._

Someone touches Peter's shoulder from behind. He turns to see Luke Cage.

'Hi,' Peter says.

'How you holding out?' Luke gives Peter's shoulder a squeeze.

'Okay.'

Ever since Peter's started training the Web Warriors, they've been seeing less and less each other. Peter isn't even really sure if they're still together. There's just so much going on, it's hard to concentrate on a relationship.

'I brought you some lunch,' Luke says. He hands Peter a paper bag and a carton of orange juice.

'Thanks but I'm busy.'

'You got to eat. You can't just keep going on without food. Your fainting won't do anyone any good.'

'Yeah, well, I'm not good at doing people good, now am I?' Peter glares at the water tanks. 'Look at them. They're dying, and it's all my fault.'

 _The limo slides to a stop on the wet pavement. Harry pulls Peter into the car. 'Dad, this is the kid I told you about. The one who's always getting beaten up.' Harry's warm and real beside him. Peter wonders that Harry noticed him, blushes when he hears the 'beaten up' part. He doesn't need Harry's pity, but he kind of does. It's nice not to be alone. Well, there's MJ, but she's busy a lot. Harry takes the time to get to know Peter. He is Peter's first boy friend. Not boyfriend, though they shared a sloppy kiss during a round of truth or dare one time, but a friend who happens to be a boy, like Peter._

'It's not your fault,' Luke says, 'It's Doc Ock's fault, it's Norman's fault. It's not yours.'

'I shouldn't have let Harry go on the mission, and I should've been more careful, not let Flash go somewhere so dangerous. They're just high school kids.'

'Ah-huh, like you.'

 _Flash throws the basketball over Harry's head, lands a net. Peter's watching from the bleachers. He's got his math homework laid out. 'Ten-nothing,' Flash croons, then stops because he sees Peter, 'what's that punk doing there?' 'He's my friend,' Harry says, 'leave him alone.' 'I thought I was your friend.' 'You are. I can have more than one friend.' Flash squints his eyes at Peter. 'Who do you like more?' Peter puts down his pencil. 'I can't answer that,' Harry says. Flash dribbles the ball hard. 'You've known me longer. Is it really that hard?' Harry steals the ball, shoots the hoop, doesn't answer the question._

'No, it's different,' Peter says, 'I have powers. Flash just had that suit, which was trouble from the start. And Harry was only learning to use his suit, which was meant for his protection, not for going on missions. Norman's never going to forgive me, and I don't blame him. I'm a shitty leader.'

'Under the circumstances, I think you're doing a killer job.'

Peter shoots him a glare.

'Oh, shit sorry,' Luke says, 'pun totally not intended. Thing is you didn't start this mess. You're trying to clean it up, but your supervisor left without instructions, and the mess keeps pouring out while you're cleaning it.'

'What's your point?'

'My point is, you're a hero, Peter. You're just doing what you think is right, what has to be done, and sometimes you slip up, we all do, but you're doing your best to help others and you're doing it from the heart.'

 _It's strange that now it's Peter that Flash is jealous about. Flash worships Spider-man would do anything for him. He wanted to keep Harry from joining the team, because he wanted to be Spidey's best bud. But Flash had been right about rejecting Harry. If Harry hadn't been there, he would still be okay. Maybe Flash too, maybe not, but at least one of them would still be functioning._

'No,' Peter says. He looks over at Harry. 'I did what I did because I wanted to spend time with Harry, because I missed him. My motives were completely one hundred percent selfish, and I screwed up, and no amount of being sorry, or wishing my teammates hadn't gotten hurt is going to do anything.'

'Well, then, stop blaming yourself, stop feeling sorry, if it's not doing anyone any good. Just concentrate on bringing your friends back and making sure the rest of your team is okay. And whatever happens, Pete, know that you'll always be a hero to me. You didn't even have to be here, but you made that choice, you've put your life on the line, time after time, for people you don't even know, and you're doing this knowing full well you're not going to get any recompense – no money, benefits, or fame. You're a hero, Pete, especially to me.'

Luke kisses the back of Peter's neck and walks away. Peter stands staring after him.

'Wait, Luke!'

Luke turns back, a question in his raised eyebrow.

'I, I'd like if you stayed,' Peter mumbles, 'that's if you have the time.'

'I could stay,' Luke says, 'I do have the time. I just don't know how I'll helpful I'll be, I don't know that much about that science end of things, despite who my parents are. Parents who you saved, by the way.'

'You don't need to know the science stuff,' Peter says, 'all you have to is stand by me, keep saying those nice things in my ear, even if I don't deserve them.'

Luke wraps his arms around Peter. 'You deserve them, my little hero.' He tilts Peter's face up and kisses him. 'You're wonderful, baby, so wonderful.' He kisses him, again and again and again, each one deeper, more probing, intimate, and Peter feels warm all over and safe. Things seem like they could clear up. Life could get better.

'Ahem.'

Peter and Luke break away from each other's embrace and turn.

'I'm back,' Amadeus says.


End file.
